It hurts

It hurts when you try and let your baby father go. Or for anyone who is special in your life, but when you have a child with a person, letting them go can sometimes cause more pain than anything ever. I know, been trying to accept the fact that me and my baby father just will never be. The sad part is that we could have been something so amazing that letting it go really hurts.

After almost 3 years, I have deleted every way of getting in contact with my daughters father. I am not running away. After another f you night for me, and being told to never talk to him again. I said OK, sure. I blocked him off AIM and deleted him from my Facebook. Changing the cell number is the next step. Since we have a child together I figure he can make visitation appointments through my mother. Not like he would come anyway. I am going to give him what he wants a world with no me.

This issue that sparked this drama, is one that always follows me with him. HIS FAMILY. Now, they loved me when I was supporting him. Making sure he was out of their hair, now I am the worse thing since McDonalds. I don't even care anymore, especially considering our economic class difference is what plays such a role in our issues. I am not rich by any standard, but I was raised with certain ways about me. I feel a father should be an active part of his child's life. I believe mothers should take care of their children, and not put them off to others to raise. For example, I have no social life at all because I am always home with my child. I do not go out, or anything. I don't even want my baby father watching my child. That is another issue also, but we will save that for another blog.

His family and there non stop drama play a huge part in our relationship always goes. Word to all future baby mothers out there, if the person you sleeping with is a mommas boy, please run away. They will forever be a mommas boy. My baby father's mother has gone as far as to tell him, he is not supposed to be living with her; Basically to get out. When I was pregnant, they made sure to tell him to get a paternity test to make sure my daughter is his, they boycotted our baby shower, called me all the names in the book. Yet, now that my child is born they want to take her for weekends, they are feeding her foods I do not agree with especially when I hadn't even started given her actual food yet. When my child comes home to me its like she is someone else. Then they don't understand why I get angry. He never backs up any of the rules we have laid out for our child. He allows his family to do whatever they want when she is with him, and he barely takes care of her when she is around him. He is officially a babysitter and not a father.

The sad part is, and this is what makes women stupid. I love him, not just for our daughter either. I loved him because he was a good dude until they came in the picture. When I didn't have to deal with them everything was lovely. Now that I have too, I wish I never met this fool. Like be my sperm donor but leave me the hell alone kind of situation. But, that is how the cookie crumbles right.